The Guide to Threads

A guide to navigating the average thread.

1. You have what seems like a good idea for a thread. You type it out to make it seem like a good discussion topic and post it. Go To 2

2. No' one posts in the thread. It has about 60 views and no replies. If this continues go to three. If not go to four

3. The thread dies a quick death at 0 replies and no' one ever speaks of it again. END

4. Someone replies with "First Post! LOLOLROOZ!!!!11" Go to 5

5. Discussion begins until the point when the TOB gang shows up and begins wreaking havoc. If the TOB gang gets a foothold go six. If the thread survives go to 7.

6. The TOB gang begins raping and pillaging the thread so it can be carried back to their homeland for more raping and pillaging. Insanity ensues and the thread is booted off. END

7. The TOB gang joins the discussion, or wanders off. If a new person chooses this moment to make their first post go to 8. If not go to 9

8. Some new guy chooses this moment to introduce himself. If Charlemagne bites his face off go to 10. If not go to 11.

9. X Chooses this moment to nuke someone. go to 12.

10. Charlemagne rips his face off and everyone begins saying hi to the new guy with varying levels of hostility or insanity Go to 17

11. Everyone starts telling Charlemagne to bite the new guys face off. Go to 10

12. Someone misinterprets a comment made by someone else and begins flaming him or her. If the flamed is a girl go to 13. If the flamed is a guy go 14.

13. Everybody in a 50-mile radius rushes to defend the flamed. The flamer is rebuked severely and runs away because he thinks everybody on the boards hates him. Go to 17.

14. The two combatants begin battling. If one of them listens to the pleas from others to stop go to 15. If not go to 16

15 One of the combatants says he will be the bigger man and stop this silly fight. His opponent will immediately attempt to taunt him into a towering rage. If he the guy who stopped flaming resumes fighting go to 16. If not go to 17.

16. An op steps in the stop the fight, and the thread is locked. END

17. Discussion returns to a mutated version of the original topic. If someone mentions religion go to 18. If not go to 19.

18. Any reasonable discourse disappears and 5 page rambling manifestos appear. No' one listens to what anyone else says, except when taking offense at someone else's comment. Go to 12

19. If the thread is still alive it will have reached many many pages. Those who have not been following it will be reluctant to read everything and join in, without new blood the threads participants eventually wander off until the thread falls behind enough newer threads. END (Not counting necroposts)